


Stuck With You This Christmas

by EliseCY



Category: Reylo - Fandom, Star Wars, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Assistant Rey (Star Wars), Boss kylo ren, Boss/Employee Relationship, Christmas, Christmas Angst, Christmas Fluff, Christmas fic, Christmas mayhem, Christmas plans go awry, Christmas travels, F/M, Grumpy Kylo Ren, Holiday bonding time, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Rey and Kylo Ren stuck together, Reylo Christmas, Snowy travels, Travel Mishap
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:07:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28131387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EliseCY/pseuds/EliseCY
Summary: Rey has been working for Mr. Kylo Ren of First Order Enterprises for less than two weeks when she's tasked with driving him to the airport for Christmas. However, when his plane gets canceled, Rey does the only thing she thinks she can do: offer to drive him (at least somewhere he can rent a car or something so she can resume her own Christmas plans). When things don't go as planned, it becomes abundantly clear that she may be stuck with her infuriatingly grouchy boss for Christmas. If she doesn't kill him first.A Reylo Christmas fic
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo
Comments: 69
Kudos: 180





	1. Chapter 1

She can’t stand him. She really, _really_ can’t stand him.

“WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? MOVE IT!” he screams at the car in front of them. Rey lets out a big sigh and tries to stay focused on the road. Only two more minutes until they reach the airport. Two. Then she can drop off her boss and join Finn, Rose, and Poe baking cookies back at her place. She smiles at the thought. This is going to be her first white Christmas. Having grown up in an orphanage in the desert, Rey didn’t get too many happy memories to cherish around this time of the year (or really any at any time of the year for that matter). But this year will be different.

“What’s their problem?” Her boss says, crossing his arms and leaning back in his seat. _Poof!_ There goes her daydreams of warm blankets and gingerbread cookies.

She tries not to groan before she replies. “You know, it’s not their problem. The whole road is packed. Plus, you know they can’t hear you screaming in here, right?” Her eyes shift to his. “Only I get that pleasure.”

His eyes narrow. She smiles to herself at the satisfaction of putting him in his place—something no one ever seems to attempt around their office. She just got the job to be his personal assistant less than two weeks ago. His last one quit as the pressure of the holidays mounted, and she guessed that maybe he had some sort of breakdown that made him need to get help or leave his job unexpectedly. But then she met who the last assistant was assisting. Mr. Kylo Ren, CEO of First Order Enterprises. The only thing more intimidating than his tall frame and soul-piercing stare were his lack of manners and the possibility that he may burst into a bout of yelling at any moment. Personally, Rey had never been at the receiving end of one of his outbursts, but she’s seen plenty who have.

“Just keep driving,” he grumbles and his crossed arms tightening. Her eyebrows knit together. _Huh. That’s strange._ She’s happy she never seems to get the “Royal Ren treatment,” as her co-workers call it, but she doesn’t get it. And she can tell that it makes the others in the office a little cold to her. Maybe they think she’s doing something to get on her boss’s good side…

She shakes the thought away and continues navigating through the icy streets. _Maybe he’s tuckered out from all the road rage._

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? NAPPING?! GET OFF THE STREETS IF YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO DRIVE!” He screams at the car in front of them. _Nope. Still has plenty road rage left in him._

She sighs. “Can you please stop shouting? It’s giving me a headache.”

He shoots her a glare and gives a _tch_ sound before saying, “Well maybe I’d stop shouting if the people in front of us stopped driving like grandmas. I’m going to miss my plane.”

“You are _not_ going to miss your plane,” she says, swerving to miss the enormous truck pulling in front of the slow car just a couple feet in front of them now. She puts her turn signal on to sneak into the left lane beside them. “I’m an expert driver.” She eyes the tight spot she thinks she can squeeze through. It’s risky, but she just might make it.

“You’re going to get us killed,” he says, worry washing over his face. He winces as she rolls down the window, the sharp bite of New York winter air piercing the heat now seeping out of the car.

“You said you don't want to miss your plane, right?” she asks briskly, rolling down the window so she can stick her head out and ensure they don’t crash into the drivers flying past them. “Okay, here we go!” She takes the tiny window of opportunity to slide into the left lane, speed up, and then slide in front of the ricocheting eighteen-wheeler.

Her boss clutches his seat. “I can’t board my plane if I’m dead,” he says, his right hand reaching up to grab the handle just above the passenger seat.

She laughs under her breath. “You need to have more faith in me.”

“I barely even know you! How do I know you won’t kill me out of spite?”

She smirks as she makes her way into the far right lane and then skids into the exit for the airport. “Because if I wanted to kill you I would have done it in a setting that wouldn’t have risked my own untimely demise.”

He rolls his eyes. “Very reassuring,” he says, but from the corner of her eye she can see that he’s suppressing a smile.

**

When they get to the airport, she hasn't brought the car to a complete stop yet when Mr. Ren flies out of his door. Her eyes bulge. “What are you doing? Are you crazy?”

“Hurry! Get my bag!” he yells just before shutting the car door behind him. He points to the back seat and then takes off for the sliding airport doors. She groans and puffs a hair out of her face, bracing herself for the cold outside (at least her face is still numb from sticking it out the window). She opens the back seat and grabs his large designer suitcase (Italian leather), pulls up the handle, and rushes into the airport, hoping she doesn’t get ticketed for abandoning her vehicle in a no-parking zone.

When she catches sight of her boss at one of the counters, she picks up her pace, the bag rolling smoothly behind her.

“What do you mean it’s been canceled?!” his voice reverberates across the busy lobby.

_Oh no._

Her heartrate quickens with her steps as she dodges flustered travels and practically runs to the counter. She can see his finger pointing angrily at the girl behind the desk, whose stunned face looks like she's seen a ghost. He has that effect on people.

Rey continues looping her way through the crowd. A car horn goes off. She looks back at her car to make sure it's still there and not getting towed or ticketed, and then back to Mr. Ren, whose hands are now covering his face, his fingers curled tightly in his ink-black hair. Her eyebrows knit together yet again at this sudden mood change. He's facing away from the desk, but he hasn't moved from his place upfront. Someone in line is trying to get past him, but Rey can tell he's too scared to as Mr. Ren to move.

Then he finally does. His hands drop by his sides, his shoulders pull back, and then he starts making his way back towards the exit. She catches his arm as he walks past her, blind to the fact that she was right there in front of him. "What's going on? Are you okay?" she asks. He flinches at the questions. 

"I'm fine," he grumbles, his fists clenching so tight she thinks they might pop off his wrists. "I'm just not going to get where I need to be because APPARENTLY NOBODY CAN FLY _MY_ PLANE BUT CAN FLY EVERYONE ELSE'S!" he shouts back at the counter. The girl at the counter bristles and puts her head down. He lets out a big sigh and continues forward. "And apparently all the cars are rented and all the taxis are busy, and no one will drive as far out as I need to go." His voice drops significantly, and Rey realizes she's never actually heard him sound so sad before. It's always just been groans, yells, or pressed speech from him. The only time she's heard him speak quietly is when he mumbles to her grumpily, since he doesn't ever seem to have the energy to yell at her. That's her theory anyway.

His face has dropped, and something in his eyes hints that this trip means a lot more to him than Rey could have guessed. She thinks of her own plans as they make their way back to her car. She thinks of Finn and Rose baking cookies back home. She thinks of her warm bed and the slew of Christmas movies just outside her reach that she so desperately wants to dive into . But then she looks back up at her boss, his face staring straight in front of him, but his mind is elsewhere. This is her first well-paying job ever. She can’t risk losing it at an unhappy boss who may not make it home for Christmas. Plus, this is the first time she’s seen him like this. Angry, but silent, eyes searching for solutions, his mouth a solid line across his long face.

She walks in long strides back to her car, feeling his presence looming behind her, hearing the wheels of his bag scratch along the sidewalk as they exit through the airport’s automatic doors. Still, he says nothing, and suddenly she wishes he'd yell at more employees and demand another flight. _They're probably all booked anyway._

When they make it to her car, she offers him his luggage. He picks it up without a word and tosses it into the backseat. She watches him and becomes acutely aware of how good looking he is. _It's just because he's not yelling for once_ , she tells herself, though not quite convinced.

She sighs and lets the thoughts of sugar plums dancing in her head evaporate. _The Hallmark movie marathon can wait I suppose._ “I can drive you where you need to go,” she says, although it takes an immense amount of force to get the words past her lips. “I’m sure there are taxis outside the city that can take you somewhere you can rent a car, or maybe to a different airport farther away.” He looks at her with an expression she can’t read, but maybe that’s because it’s not one of frustration. Maybe it’s surprise? He searches her face, the dark depths peering into hers much longer than ever before. She doesn’t know why, but heat rises to her cheeks.

She looks away. “Let’s go. No time to waste. I need to be back before too long. I have plans.” With that, she pivots on her heel and makes her way to the driver's seat.

Her heartrate picks back up again as she forces herself to ignore the feeling settling in the pit of her stomach. The feeling that maybe this plan won’t go as smoothly as she thinks.


	2. Chapter 2

“Don’t take this exit," he grunts. His eyes widen as Rey drifts to the exit. Cars pile in front of her. Mr. Ren leans forward and watches the traffic build. "No, no, no—not that— _no_! AGH!”

“Are you quite finished?” she says, glaring over at him. He’s still leaning forward in his seat, his hand emphatically pointing towards the packed exit.

“No, I’m _not_ finished,” he says, sarcasm oozing from every word. “If we take this exit, we’ll be stuck in traffic until New Year’s." He scans the road. He spots a car to their left that's turned completely sideways, blocking the cars behind them. "Apparently no one knows how to drive today. Look at these idiots. What are they even doing?”

Rey keeps her eyes on the road, watching for an opportunity to squeeze past the cars on their right and make it to the clogging exit. She watches as more and more cars turn into the exit in question, flooding it to the rafters with angry, honking drivers, inching forward in a frenzy of stress-induced panic. She grimaces. _He’s right. I would have been in a worse state if I’d taken that exit. Still, he shouldn’t be so rude._ “Fine,” she says with a sigh, “I won't take the exit, but I’m going to make some car rules, okay?” The car stops, as if on cue, stuck in the biggest traffic jam Rey has ever seen. _Where did all these cars come from?_ She grunts and then turns to her boss with a sticky-sweet smile. She doesn’t say anything at first. She just lets him get uncomfortable as she sits there smiling at him. Finally, his arms uncross, and he gives her a confused look.

“Okay…?” he says.

She widens her smile. “Oh good. You’re on board. So, rule number one: no shouting.”

“I haven’t shouted since the airport.”

“You literally shouted two minutes ago.”

“That wasn’t at you! It was at the other drivers.”

"Rey shakes her head. “Doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter if it’s me or the lady in that car, the man in that car over there,” she points at cars all around them, “ _that_ car, or even Santa himself in his cute little sleigh. No. Shouting.”

He makes another _tch_ sound, something he’s mastering to a T. “I’m not promising that.”

She guffaws in shocked irritation, and with wide, angry eyes, a smile still plastered to her face, she says, “Oh, _yes_. Yes, you are.”

He watches her carefully, his mouth a straight line, rigid with irritation, yet his eyes look oddly entertained, as if welcoming the challenge. His straightens his posture and opens his mouth, then closing it again. Rey can tell he wants to say something but isn’t. _Is he actually following my rule? Or is this something else?_

Regardless of what’s going on through his mind, Rey decides to take advantage of this newfound silence to further lay down her car rules. “Number two: We will be listening to Christmas music.”

“The hell we are,” he says, chuckling to himself and sitting back in his seat, his long dark hair falling against the headrest.

Rey smirks and puts her hand on the dial. His eyes follow her movements, and when he sees her fingers turn the knob, his head starts shaking. “No no no. I didn’t agree to that!” he says, but it’s too late. Mariah Carey is now blasting through the car so loud that Rey thinks every car around them can hear it too.

“ _I just want you here tonight! Holdin’ on to me so tight! What more can I doo-oo?_ ”

“Stop!”

“ _All I want for Christmas is yooooouuuuu!_ ”

“Ah! Why?” he says, shaking his head again, as if that and crossing his arms is all he knows how to do. She laughs and keeps singing.

 _I didn’t know annoying him would be so fun_ , she thinks, still laugh-singing at the top of her lungs.

“Ugh. How do you even know this?” he asks, his deep voice coming out in rumbles, barely audible above the music.

Rey stops and stares at him. His brows furrow and his mouth purses. “What?” he asks, but she just keeps staring at him. After another silent minute, she turns down the music.

“Did you just ask me how I know this?” she asks, wondering how he lived for thirty-five years without hearing “All I Want for Christmas is You.”

He nods slowly, still looking at her like she’s gone mad and might lunge forward at any moment in a festivity-induced attack.

“You have never heard this song? How is that even possible?”

He shrugs defensively. “I don’t know. I have better things to do with my time than listen to stupid Christmas songs.”

Her eyes stay on him. She shakes her head. “No…you don’t just listen to Mariah Carey because you go out seeking ‘All I Want for Christmas is You.’ You go about living your life and it’s thrust upon you and you like it both because it’s catchy and for survival. Because you know you’ll never escape a department store without hearing it.” She tries to keep a straight face as she continues her rant, wondering at what point he’ll realize she’s only partly serious. He doesn’t seem to be getting it, and it dons on her that he really, truly has never heard this song. She lets her shoulders fall. “Okay, what gives? How have you never heard this song? Have you never shopped at Christmastime in your entire life?”

“I always had people to do that for me,” he says briskly.

“Have you never listened to the radio?” she asks. His eyes narrow.

“Are you going to berate me about this all day? No, I have never heard ‘I Want You for Christmas’ or whatever it’s called, and yes, as a matter of fact, I have listened to the radio. But no, I don’t listen to it often. All the songs sound the same nowadays, and I prefer listening to music that isn’t so poppy that it gives me cavities.” His voice, although not shouting or raised, is so low and strong that it fills the entire car as he speaks. So, when he finally stops, the air is even more audibly silent. When he’s done with his rant, all Rey can hear is the clunky engine of her ’97 red Volvo and the hum of the slightly warm air pooling through the vents.

It’s only then that she realizes how cold she is. Her eyes trail back to the road in front of her. Still no movement out there. She leans back in her seat and lets out a small, visible breath.

He waits for her to challenge him, as if the two of them are playing a game or performing a verbal dance where they’re supposed to out-jab each other, but it doesn’t come. His face falls, and she can feel his eyes burrowing into her, dark and confused.

“It’s so cold here,” she says. He continues watching her. “I used to live in a place so warm that you could even swim in the winter.” She smiles wistfully. “I bet I’d be swimming right now…My friends and I used to sneak out to a community pool after a hard day’s work.” She laughs. “It was so thrilling because we didn’t know if we’d get caught or not. It was too hot to give up the chance of relief, though, so we risked it every time.” She thinks back on her times in Arizona. Of the foster home she grew up in. Of the community pool she, her friends, and her rotating group of foster siblings snuck off to every chance they got, even if it got them in a heap of trouble, both by the neighborhood authorities and by her foster father. It was worth it, though. It was always worth the risk to cool off on those unbearably hot days, especially after working outside on Unkar Plutt’s cars all day.

The memory sours with the thought of him. He was a ruthless tyrant. Rey counted each day she was at that home, if you could even call it that. 4745. 4745 days in that awful prison. She would lie awake at night, wide awake despite the gruelling work her young body had to endure so that Plutt could profit off of it. He laughed heartily, evilly, as he sold the newly refurbished cars, motorcycles, and even go-karts and bicycles that the kids all learned to fix for him. She’d always felt like her parents were out there somewhere. That they’d come back for her. She clung to that thought desperately, using it as her lifeline to get through each day. But they never came. Part of her always knew they wouldn’t, but she needed something to get her through those horrid, nightmarish days and nights. She needed hope.

“Did you ever get caught?” he asks, his voice piercing through her memories. She blinks and looks over at her boss, floating back into the present. She studies his face for a brief moment, mostly out of surprise, and sees something in him that she’s never seen before. He seems…genuinely concerned, and genuinely intrigued. His eyes are soft and his features are strangely vulnerable. The deep hazel-brown of his eyes scoops her up into a trance. Then she nods with a sad smile and looks away.

“Yes, unfortunately. We got caught all the time.” Her smile falls to a frown. A deep frown. The unpleasant memories come flooding into her mind. The development is fast and overwhelming. It’s as if a dam has been inside of her since she left that infernal house, holding back the memories so she didn’t have to face them. And it’s now rapidly busting, breaking in large bursts of darkness. Nothing can put them back now. Panic squeezes her chest. _What do I do?_ Her breathing quickens and her mind races in an effort to figure out how to soothe herself in front of her boss without him noticing.

Then she feels something. She looks down and sees Mr. Ren’s hand on hers, warm and calming. It’s so big that her whole hand is swallowed up in it. Shock ripples through her like lightning as he squeezes it slightly and looks at her with worried lines etched deep across his forehead. He opens his mouth to say something but then closes it, perhaps realizing he doesn’t know what to say. But he keeps his hand there, and slowly her heartrate slows.

The hum of the warming air brushes against her face. _Who is this man?_ Their eyes stay locked together, and she sees something deep within him. Something that tells her that some part of him understands. Suddenly it’s a lot warmer in the car. The heater has been broken for ages, beyond even her ability to repair it, so it can’t be that. Still, the heat rises to her face and envelopes her entire body.

She looks away, her heart pounding. As the dark memories continue seeping through her mind, she lets her hand stay safe under Kylo Ren’s.

What now? What does she do when the memories won’t go away? How can she distract herself in a traffic-stuck car somewhere outside New York City?

“So,” he says, turning so he can use his right hand to turn the dial on the radio but still hold hers with his left, “What song is this?” He turns up the radio, filling the car with the words to “Last Christmas.”

Curiosity pulls Rey to face him. _Who is this guy?_ She watches him move gracefully in his seat, an unusual trait in a man his size, the muscles in his arms tightening beneath his fitted jacket. She can’t help being sucked into thoughts of him. This is the loud, angry CEO of First Order Enterprises. The man who makes grown men cry and never smiles. This is him, right?

“Um…it’s ‘Last Christmas’ by Wham,” she says softly, her cheeks now flushed even more than before. His eyes find hers and he smiles. Her heart is thumping so loudly that she’s convinced it’s made its way into her ears.

“Well…maybe we can listen to Christmas songs after all,” he says, and the corner of his mouth turns up a little more. “They’re not so bad.” Her eyes follow his every movement and she’s reminded again how attractive he is to her. The way he runs his fingers through his hair. The way his smile turns slightly to one side. The deep, dark stare that makes her legs turn to jelly. _What is wrong with me?_ _This is my boss! This is the big, bad Kylo Ren_ … But she’s not convinced. This can’t be the man she’s heard so much about. He’s nothing like the tyrannical monster people make him out to be, and she knows what a person like that is actually like. _Maybe the rumors aren’t true…I mean, I’ve never actually_ seen _him make anyone cry. I actually haven’t really seen him be anything but loud and grumpy. Maybe he’s not the monster people claim him to be._ She watches him turn up the radio more. _Maybe there’s more to him than meets the eye._

She hears something muffled against the radio and soon realizes it’s his voice. “What?” she asks, the word coming out louder than expected.

He chuckles softly. “The traffic’s letting up,” he says, “We should keep moving.”

“Oh. R-right,” she says, taking her car out of park. Then, after a brief hesitation, she slips her hand out of his and puts it on the wheel. “We better get going. You don’t want to miss out on a good rental, if they have any cars left at this next lot.”

“Yeah,” he says, his voice returning to his usual grumble, “I-uh- _we_ can’t be late. I need to get there before anyone else does. I can’t be stuck in this kriffing place on Christmas, surrounded by idiots like the ones in front of us.” He points to the slowly moving vehicle up ahead and re-crosses his arms. She can’t help but laugh silently at the way he’s now staring out the window, pretending to be annoyed. He won’t look at her, and she isn’t sure why, but a faint flush is slowly creeping up his cheeks. 


	3. Chapter 3

They made it through the initial surge of traffic only to be met with disappointment after disappointment.

“What did they say?” Rey asks as he slumps back into the car.

Mr. Ren wipes snow off his sleeve. “The same thing that the last three rental places said. Nothing.”

She raises an eyebrow. “Nothing? Nothing at all?”

He shakes his head and rubs his hands together furiously. “It’s so cold in here. Why haven’t you fixed your heater?”

“It’s unfixable, but never mind that right now. Are you sure there’s nothing around here at all? Not even a sketchy car shop looking for unsuspecting victims?”

He looks at her, aghast. “You would endanger me just to dump me off for your Christmas plans?”

“Hey, you’re the one who wants to get to…wherever it is you’re going…so bad. I’m just offering solutions.” She smiles so he knows she’d never _actually_ put his life in danger, although she highly doubts anyone would be able to lay a punch on him if they tried. She’s pretty sure that any mugger out there in the world would cower at his slightest glance. His glare has made many a person shake in their boots. Not her though. It takes more than a piercing glare to scare her.

He studies her face, unamused, “I can’t tell if you’re joking or not.”

She laughs. “Of course I am! But I’m pretty sure you could fend for yourself in the wild.”

He leans back, still shivering, and says, “Yeah, well, I’d rather not find out today, thank you very much.”

“Well,” she says, turning the keys in the ignition, “I guess we just need to keep going then.”

They drive for another hour and a half before they get to a clearing with nothing but snow. Rey has taken so many roads off the beaten track since the last stop that she and her brooding boss don’t even know where they are anymore. “You’ve gotten us lost,” he says, scanning the pure white horizon. “It’s so empty out here.”

“It’s beautiful…” she says, gaping in awe at the blankets of perfect, untouched snow. It’s like looking out onto a valley of freshly poured cream that no one has had the chance to touch. As the car moves forward and the road stretches on, she can’t help but feel like she’s driving into a carton of vanilla ice cream, or maybe a frothy cup of white hot chocolate, misty steam skating on top.

She keeps driving and admires the falling powder around them until her wheels start to slide beneath her. Fear itches up her throat. Then she realizes something. This perfect, untouched horizon, with no building or person in sight, means they’re very well in the middle of nowhere. She might as well admit it. They’re lost, and it’s starting to snow. And she just spent the last half hour driving further into this nothingness. Her hands clutch the steering wheel tighter. “I never should have taken that last road.” 

“Mm?”

She looks over at her boss and notices that he must have drifted off to sleep at some point since he last spoke. His arms are crossed but his eyes are closed, his head resting on the window beside him. The milky layer outside his window dips to the right, and Rey hadn’t noticed it before, but they’re next to a field of white where the road rounds off. It’s not solid ground beside them. The blood drains from her face and she tries not to wonder how deep the snow beside them goes, and whether or not something lies beneath it, like a cemetery, or a lake. 

She hates having to wake him, but anxiety is caving in on her. She’s never driven in snow like this before, and the fog is thickening around them—that elegant steam across her imaginary white hot chocolate has turned into a thick blanket she can’t see through. She can’t even make out the road anymore.

“Mr. Ren?” she asks, her eyes darting between him and where she thinks the road may be. Fear spikes up her back like cold needles. _I can’t see the road._ “Mr. Ren?”

Still nothing.

“KYLO!” she yells, but as he jerks awake, the car spins. Her gasp is met with loud screeches and bangs. She squeezes the steering wheel like it’s the only thing keeping her alive, and she closes her eyes. The car is out of her control now. The spinning turns into a roll as the right side of her vehicle slips off the side of the small hill beside them.

There’s a brief moment where nothing can be heard. No scream from the wheels, no bangs from their car. Nothing. The briefest moment, an in-between state of shock and clarity.

Rey never really put much stock into the whole “your life flashes before your eyes when you’re about to die” thing, but in this moment, she realizes that it’s true. For her, though, the thoughts that rush through her mind are not the memories she’s made in her life, but the hopes and dreams she’s held onto for her future. She sees her college graduation. Her first Christmas with friends. Her first real job. “I never even got my first kiss…” she whispers, tears starting to roll down her face.

She braces herself for the inevitable crash, whether it’s at the bottom of a cliff or in a hidden, icy lake. But it doesn’t come. Her body’s trembling now, still hunched behind the wheel, her eyes squeezed shut.

“Rey,” a voice says, tumbling through the pounding in her ears.

She doesn’t move.

“Rey, we’re okay.”

“What?” she whispers, eyes finally opening to reveal Kylo Ren looking at her through concerned eyes. She’s never seen him look at her, or anyone else, like this before. His worried eyes are wide, but soft, like he’s caring for an injured kitten. He’s leaning toward her with one arm wrapped around her body, his hand holding onto her arm by the elbow. Her breaths can’t help catching in her throat. Her heart nearly stops, their eyes locking together in a strong, desperate trance. Everything around them is calm, despite everything. She feels…safe. With him. And as he slides his fingers along her forearm and back to his side, she feels every inch of his fingers on her like little surges of electricity, and when his fingers brush against her bare wrist, a large jolt bursts through her entire body. Her heart is pounding now, and he’s gotten closer to her. No words are spoken between them. They’re locked in this gaze, neither one of them wanting to break the spell.

She longs for his fingers to find their way to hers, surprising herself as soon as the thought flutters across her mind. _This is my boss_ , she presses in her mind again. _This is Kylo Ren…_ but she doesn’t see it anymore. She doesn’t see the bristled man who pretends to the world that he’s something that he’s not, acting like he’s a big, angry giant that no one should care about. She sees him now. In this brief moment in time, she sees what really lies within him. She just wonders why he’s so afraid to be who he is. What happened to him that’s made him so afraid? Afraid to love, afraid to lose…Who is Kylo Ren?

Finally, he’s the one to break the silence. His mouth turns up slightly to form a wicked smile. “So…you haven’t had your first kiss, huh?” Her face turns bright red and she plays with the thought of jumping out of the car and running far away. Then again, she’s never been one to be vulnerable either. Maybe today she should try.

She sighs with a shuddery laugh, regaining her ability to speak. “Yeah…unfortunately, working under harsh conditions your whole childhood does that to you. No time for boyfriends or matchmaking. Just work…” _and loneliness_ she wants to add. She trails off and thinks back at her time as a teenager. A high schooler out of her element. Waking up at 5 am to work, going to school where everyone looked at her like she was scum, and then working until she was too tired to move. Still, at least she had her brothers and sisters in the foster home, even if most of them got to be reunited with family, while others got adopted into new families altogether. They were loved. She was just alone.

“I know what you mean,” he says. She looks to see him staring straight ahead, as if gazing back into his own childhood. “I grew up with rich parents. A busy mother and distant father. When your mom’s a senator and your dad’s a famous driver and always gone, you learn to be okay with solitude.” He frowns, and something in his somber eyes reveals that he never really learned to be okay it.

Rey nods. “Yeah…being alone is truly horrible, but I guess I don’t even know what it’s like to not be alone. I was loved by my friends and foster siblings, though, so I know what it’s like to be a part of something at least. To feel loved and to love in return…So I guess I kind of got a taste of what it was like not to be alone.”

“You’re lucky. I didn’t have the luxury of many friendships. I was homeschooled by a tutor while my parents were away, and when I became a rebellious teenager trying to break the bonds they tied me in, they sent me off to live with my uncle.” He chuckles. “Funny. They thought the cure to my loneliness and longing for them would be to send me away. Maybe my star of an uncle could help me. He was a high school baseball coach. His players loved him. Like a father they never had.” His arms cross again, and Rey starts to wonder if he does this out of more than just irritation. Living a life full of painful memories she desperately sought to block taught her a few coping techniques. Maybe he had some too. “I had a mother who I loved. And a father. But they never seemed to care too much about me…even though…I _think_ they did.” A shadow casts across his face, but even in the dark, Rey can see his eyes are wet. “I do think they loved me. They were just so wrapped up in their lives that they didn’t love me enough to do anything about it. And when they couldn’t handle me anymore they shipped me off to an uncle who couldn’t give a damn about me.”

His shoulders are shaking now, so Rey does something impulsive. She reaches over and wraps her arms around him. He freezes. The two of them forget to breathe until Rey squeezes him against her, letting the warmth of his body soak into hers. Then she feels his arms wrap around her in return, his head resting against her chest. Through the silence and hidden away from the falling snow, Kylo Ren lets himself cry. It’s quiet and subtle at first but then grows a little louder with each passing moment. He holds onto her tighter and Rey gets the feeling he hasn’t let himself cry for a really long time.

She’s about to let her head rest on his when he sits upright and wipes his face, his body still quivering and his breathing still ragged. “This is embarrassing,” he says, the bass of his voice vibrating against her chest. “I don’t cry.”

Rey reluctantly sits back in her seat too. “Everyone cries,” she says. His reddened eyes lock back onto her, as if her words are a brand-new revelation for him. _Maybe no one’s ever told him it’s okay to cry._ She gives him a sad smile. “I know I do.” Her thoughts flash back to her time in Arizona, and then her transition to the big city. “Even though I was lonely all my life, I actually feel more alone here than ever before. I thought that being surrounded by people at work and having roommates would cure my loneliness, but it doesn’t. Finn, Rose, Poe…they’re my friends, and I love them, but I can’t help feeling like they have this warmth and kinship that I’ll never have. I don’t know if I’ll ever truly belong anywhere or with anyone…” Tears begin welling in her own eyes as she whispers, “I’ve never felt so alone…” She doesn’t even have the strength to be embarrassed or self conscious at being so uncharacteristically open. She’s just glad to finally be able to get this off her chest. To say it to someone. Anyone. Even if that person is the last person she ever expected opening up to.

“You’re not alone,” he says, breaking through the whirlwind of thoughts and emotions erupting inside her. She looks at him and sees that he still hasn’t reverted back into his Mr. Ren, CEO, façade. She snuffles with a small shudder and smiles.

“Neither are you.” The words hit him with the same power his did for her. The car may have gotten even colder since the engine rattled off in their crash, but if it had, Rey doesn’t notice. She’s never felt so warm in her life. The energy surrounding her, pulling her to this man and wrapping around the two of them, is palpable. It fills her with sensations she doesn’t recognize. Her heart speeds up as she catches him looking at her lips. She wants to inch forward but can’t get herself to move, so she slowly raises one hand instead. As her fingers make their way over to him, slowly inching over the armrest, she catches sight of him pulling off one glove and starting to move his toward hers as well. They look up and watch each other carefully, warmth pools between them as they allow themselves to show more vulnerability than they’ve ever shown anyone before.

Then their fingers meet, and it’s like nothing Rey has ever experienced. Her heart jumps in her chest and her whole body is light. She lets her fingers fall into his, and he folds his hand over hers. They don’t take their eyes off each other.

Rey swears she sees him lean toward her when a loud knocking pounds at the door behind her. The moment disappears, and she’s suddenly aware of how freezing the air around them is. She turns around and opens the door, a large clump of snow falling on her sleeve. A police officer ducks his head in and looks at the two of them. Vaguely aware that he may have interrupted something, he clears his throat and says, “We got a call that there was a car out here. Someone thought they saw movement in here. Are you two alright?”

She swallows and nods, still unable to speak, the warmth of Kylo’s touch still tangible on her fingertips.

“Well, I’m sorry to say that I’ll have to drive you into town up ahead. You’ll have to leave your car here and stay the night at the motel at the town north of here.”

Rey blinks. “What?”

_Motel? Me? Him?_

The police officer nods. “Yup. Sorry, but the road behind you is closed and the one past the town up ahead is closing too. A storm has started and it’s only going to get worse. I suggest you two get the last room before it’s too late.”

Rey’s eyebrows shoot sky-high. “ _Last room_?”

The cop frowns. “Aren’t you two---never mind. Let’s get out of the cold. Grab your things and let’s get a move on.”

Rey leaves the car in a daze, still trying to wrap her mind around the whole situation. _I was supposed to make cookies today. That’s all. I was supposed to make cookies and watch movies…_ She looks behind her and sees Kylo picking up her purse and his suitcase with the same distant expression she’s sure she’s wearing too.

She gets in the car and waits for her boss to slide in next to her. When he does, she’s painfully aware of his warmth against her shoulder and how nice it would feel to be wrapped up in him. The car’s engine starts up and they start gliding slowly up the road. When the cop turns the radio on, Kylo mutters something to her that she barely catches. “I never have either, by the way.”

She looks up at him, but he’s looking out the window, his face resting in his hand against it. “Haven’t what?”

Red colors his cheeks. “Been kissed.”

Her eyes bulge and her heart thumps harder, as if it ever stopped.

“Oh,” is all she can get herself to say, red dusting her own cheeks now. She glances out the window and watches as her car falls out of sight. “I see.”

The two of them sit in silence the rest of the way to the motel.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! I hope you all are having a wonderful holiday season! The fic will be all wrapped up in the next few days or so. Merry Christmas!

“What do you mean you only have one room left?” Rey asks, obviously frazzled, her unkempt hair from the car’s tumble falling in her face. The motel lobby is surprisingly empty for a place that’s fully booked for the night. Now that the officer has left, the only people here are Rey, Kylo, and a man named Steve. He says he’s the manager, but he’s anything but professional. He’s wearing an unbuttoned jacket with no shirt underneath, revealing large tufts of body hair, and is eating a family-sized bag of chips while checking them in. He’s also about as friendly as a cactus. Maybe less.

“Look, lady, the roads are closed and we only have ten rooms. You’re lucky we have any vacancies at all.” He looks at her unamused. As Rey digs her stare into his, he lets out an obnoxious cough, never breaking eye contact, as if to show how little he cares.

“But there was no one around for miles!” she squeals, her voice coming out higher than expected. She clears her throat and tries again. “How can you possibly be full?”

The man rolls his eyes and groans. “We’re the only stop for two hours each way. You do the math.”

Rey’s shoulders drop. “Alright then.”

“Do you take cards?” Kylo asks, his rich voice pooling through her ears. Her heart flops in her chest as she watches him bend down to pay the man behind the counter. She looks away and tries to distract herself, but her heartrate speeds up when the inevitable thought settles its way into her mind: _We’ll be sharing a room together tonight…please have two beds…please have two beds._

“One room key,” Steve says, placing the key in Kylo’s hand, “One bed, one mini bar, one TV. Merry Christmas.” Rey’s face burns as the words “one bed” echo through her brain. She wraps her coat tighter around her and glances up at her boss to gauge his feelings about the situation. But he just nods and thanks the man at the desk before picking up their bags and heading down the hallway. _He’s got a good poker face, I’ll give him that._

She hears Steve continue his loud chip eating as he turns the TV in the lobby up. She quickens her pace to catch up to her boss, whose long strides have already taken him halfway down the hall.

When she catches up to him, she follows him down the rest of the narrow hallway, the carpet so dirty and scuffed that it all blurs together into a neutral shade of brown. Everything since the lobby has smelled like old carpet cleaner and cigarettes, and Rey desperately hopes that their room will at least be somewhat inhabitable. Finally, Kylo turns to his left and puts the key in a door matching the number on the chain. She winces at the loud laughter bursting through the door across the hall until she hears their door creak open. She turns to see her boss immersing himself in the darkness. It swallows him whole, and before Rey can have cold feet about the whole situation, she hops in after him.

She can’t get over how surreal the situation is, and how odd it all is. She was supposed to drop her grouchy boss off at the airport and have her first real Christmas with friends. Now she’s spending Christmas Eve with said boss after almost dying in a car crash with him an hour or two before. And they’re sharing a one-bedroom room.

She shuts the door and locks it behind them, nearly jumping at the sound of the fatal _click_ of the lock. Every part of her is ready to jump at the slightest movement or sound, and given everything that’s been going on, it makes sense. Still, she tries not to be so skittish as she walks into the room and stares at the bed. Kylo flicks on a lamp and takes his coat off as if nothing awkward is taking place at all.

She tries not to, but she can’t stop staring at the bed. _What am I going to do? I can’t share it with him…I gotta say something._ “I—”

“I’ll sleep on the floor,” he says before she can say anything. Her eyes un-glue from the bed and make their way to him instead. “I’ll ask that vile man at the counter for some extra sheets and pillows.” He runs his fingers through his hair, trying to act nonchalant about the whole thing, but his face is turning bright red. He sits on the bed and focuses on taking his boots off, but he’s very obviously just trying not to look her in the eye. She suppresses a smile and takes a seat right next to him.

She sighs and starts unbuttoning her coat, trying not to focus on the awkward stillness settling around them. Other than the two of them rustling mildly to remove their winter apparel, the room is stiflingly quiet. The only other sounds are the muffled voices from the wall behind them. Luckily, they’re at the end of the hall, so they only have to ignore one room full of people (and the large bursts of laughter occasionally erupting from the room across the hall).

“This is just great.”

Rey turns to her boss and sees his head fall into his hands. She resists the impulse to rub his back and instead tries a different approach. “Well, it isn’t too bad,” she says.

His fingers rake through his hair as he turns to face her. “Isn’t too bad? We’re stranded in the middle of nowhere on Christmas Eve. How is that not too bad?”

She winces. _Yeah it’s pretty bad_ , she wants to say, but ponders a more positive reply. Her fingers pull at the hem of her long sweater. She’d put on a nice, semi-formal turtleneck and slacks for her last day at work today with the intent that she could go home, throw pajamas on, and relax for a week straight with no worries in the world. She just needed to wear something nice and business-like for a few hours today. That’s what she’d thought. Now she’s trying to figure out how she’s possibly going to sleep in this outfit. Her cheeks burn at the fleeting thought of the alternative.

“Um…well…we’re alive, aren’t we?” she asks, desperately trying to distract herself from all the flustered, jumbled thoughts bouncing around her head.

“Barely,” he grumbles. She turns to him with an eyebrow raised.

“Excuse me?”

He looks at her as if to challenge the notion. “I said we’re barely alive.” His face is so close to hers that she can feel the warmth of his breath on the tip of her nose when he speaks. “And stuck in the middle of nowhere. What roads did you take anyway?”

In an effort to ignore the warm peppermint scent of his breath, her eyes narrow. “Well, we wouldn’t have even been in this mess if you’d just planned your trip for any other day. Seriously, who books a flight for Christmas Eve? Cutting it pretty close, don’t you think?”

His mouth turns into a pout, but a scowl has formed on his face. “Sorry that I’m not some lazy pencil pusher, but I actually have a lot to get done before the holidays! I don’t understand why anyone has to take all this time off for the holidays anyway.”

Her eyes practically shoot lasers right into his. “You can’t just say that everyone else is lazy because you choose to work on one of the only days people in our society take off each year.”

He gets to his feet. “I have a lot to get done,” he says, his voice low, “Work doesn’t stop just because it’s Christmas Eve.”

“You’re not a doctor or a firefighter or something, Kylo. You’re a CEO of a trading company. You can afford to take a solid week off without any problems.”

His eyes stay locked on hers as she rises to her feet too, and his mouth is a hard line beneath his long nose, but he doesn’t say anything. Rey, suddenly aware of how close they are, takes a step back and puts her hands in her pockets. She wants to look away but can’t seem to. And as she looks at him even longer—maybe longer than he’s even comfortable with—she catches something in his eyes. Something that tells her there’s more to his story than he’s letting on.

_What’s he hiding? What is he keeping locked away?_

In a softer, non-confrontational voice, she says, “You can take a breather from time to time, you know. It won’t kill you. In fact, it will probably do the opposite.” His eyes fall to the floor, but his eyebrows stay fastened together in a permanent furrow.

She takes a step closer and touches his arm. When he looks back at her, all frustration and irritability is gone. In its place is something that takes Rey by surprise. He looks…hurt. Sad, maybe. The hard line of his mouth has dipped into a frown, and his eyes are starting to glisten like they had earlier that evening. She tugs at his shirt sleeve with her fingers and steps closer to him. “Kylo, it’s okay. Whatever it is, it’s okay. You don’t have to push yourself, either.” She offers him a smile, but he doesn’t take it. He does, however, seem to welcome her fingers being threaded in the ripples of his shirt sleeve. 

“It’s nothing. Nothing’s wrong,” he says, unmoving, his eyes cast to the side.

“Kylo, it’s okay. Look, we’re in a room in the middle of nowhere. No one will ever know if you tell me a secret here. I can even pretend I’ve never heard it once you tell me, if that’s what you want. We can make a deal that while we’re in this room, you can tell me absolutely anything you want, and I will listen. And I won’t tell a soul.” She smiles and lifts her hand to touch his chin and bring his gaze to hers. He’s surprised by her touch and looks at her, both confused and enchanted, as if she has him under a spell.

He nods slowly.

Her smile broadens until dimples form on her cheeks. “Great! Let’s do this then.”

She moves to the bed and pulls the comforter off and throws it onto the floor. She leans down and smooths it out so it forms a perfect rectangle in the space between the bed and the window. Next, she grabs the pillows and tosses two on one side of the comforter and two on the other. Placing her hands on her hips she looks from the comforter to Kylo. “Well,” she says, gesturing to the spot at her feet, “take a seat, sir, and let’s have some Christmas Eve fun.” She plops down to sit on the two pillows closest to the window, all smiles.

His face returns to its usual stoicism as he mutters, “Talking about my problems isn’t my idea of Christmas Eve fun.” Despite this, he walks over and takes a seat on the two pillows she set out for him, crossing his long legs and accidentally brushing his knees against hers.

“We don’t have to talk about your problems if you don’t want to,” she says with a sympathetic smile.

He avoids her gaze. “I have nothing to say anyway. I don’t have problems.”

She gives him a coy look. “Sure you don’t, tough guy. You’re the only person in the world with no problems.” 

He grunts, and she can’t help but smile.

“What are you smiling at?”

“Oh nothing. Just…you put on this tough guy act, but I don’t buy it.”

He gives her a look, curiosity piqued. 

“Sure, you’re tall and intimidating, especially with that stare of yours, but I can tell that…there’s something else inside you—some _one_ else maybe. The real you. Someone you don’t let anyone else see. Just like in the car—”

“I’m sorry, Rey, but can we please talk about something else?”

She clamps her mouth shut. “O-oh okay.” She tries not to show how taken aback she is. There’s no need making him feel bad about not wanting to share anything. She doubts he’s ever done this before. Why should now be any different? Was she really naïve enough to believe she would be the one to help him open up?

“It’s not you, Rey, if that’s what you’re wondering.”

She looks up. _How did he—_

“I just…can we just…ugh…” He wipes his hand along his face in frustration, desperately wanting to decipher his own wants and thoughts.

“Do you want to just…be two people? And just hang out?” she asks.

He pauses. “Well…I do want to…try to relax I guess. But…I want you to still…be you.”

Rey’s face burns bright red. “What? Me? Why?”

She half-expects him to form that wry smile or maybe even a brooding looks, but doesn’t do either of those things. He just looks at her hopefully, with wanting eyes and a small, warm smile, and says, “Yes. You. Because…you’re…not…terrible….”

“Oh wonderful,” she says with a laugh, “I’m not terrible.”

“No—sorry, that’s…argh…I…I mean, you’re…I…”

Now she’s the one looking at him expectantly, desperate to decipher his ramblings.

He takes a deep breath and sighs, then tries again, his eyes not meeting hers. “I mean, you’re actually…my favorite part of the day…”

The words hit her in an unsuspected rush, warming every inch of her skin and soaking into her chest. Her heart resumes its pounding, making it hard to hear herself think. “What?” 

He looks up at her, pink dusting the bridge of his nose. “I actually… enjoy you coming into the office every day. My days are usually pretty dull…even painful at times, but…ever since you started working at the office, it’s like a flower has been planted near my desk. Every time I look out of my office and see you sitting there, working or smiling and laughing…it makes my day a little more bearable.”

“Oh,” she whispers. _Is this true? Does he really like my presence that much? I haven’t noticed much…then again, I don’t really interact with him much. I just bring him coffee in the morning, tell him about his appointments, and the usual._

Then she thinks harder and remembers a moment that just happened a few days ago. One where he spilled his coffee all over his papers and she heard him panic from the other room. She came rushing in to see what had happened and instantly helped him clean him and assured him that it would all be alright and that they’d get everything ready before the client came. He wasn’t angry or anything. He was just…scared. Maybe it had to do with the client? _Last name Skywalker, I believe it was…_ she recalls as she further analyzes the memory. _He was really frazzled that day, but after I helped him, he seemed really calm. Calmer than usual. He even nodded to me and told me to have a good evening after work. Usually he just leaves his office and mumbles “Goodbye” or something._

When he speaks, she realizes she’d been smiling to herself. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything,” he says quickly, misinterpreting her silence.

“Oh, no no no! I’m so glad you did! I’m actually…really happy that you said that. I’ve rather enjoyed moments of our time together too.” She thinks back on the day after she’d helped him clean up. Her favorite kind of cupcake was mysteriously planted next to her usual coffee in the middle of her desk (the coffee she usually orders herself). A note stuck out of the bottom read, “To my assistant. Thanks for everything.” Even then, she knew what those words meant to him. Those simple, subtle words.

“Oh,” he says too, and Rey realizes that neither one of them knows how to do this.

“I’m sorry…I know I suggested we talk, but I guess I’m not very good at expressing myself.”

He shakes his head. “No, it’s okay. And you’re doing a lot better than me…I’m obviously not good at it either.”

She smiles, her cheeks dimpling again. “That’s okay. Maybe we’ll figure it out at some point.” She laughs. He chuckles softly just before an idea flickers into her mind. “Oh hey, I have an idea!”

“What?”

“Since we’re stuck here on Christmas Eve, do you want to maybe have a Christmas Eve dinner with me?”

He laughs. “With what? The mini bar?”

“Yeah maybe! And I think I have some mints in my purse…” She scans the floor for it, which makes him laugh harder. The sound of it is like music to Rey’s soul. She’s never heard him laugh like this before.

“Hold on a second. I think I have a good idea,” he says, standing up and stretching before making his way to the door. “You set up the mini bar and I’ll go fetch us a proper Christmas Eve dinner. Well…as proper as we’re going to get at Town Road Motel.”

She bursts into peels of giddy laughter. “Okay, it’s a date!” As the words escape her lips her eyes immediately widen and an inaudible gasp catches in her throat.

She prepares for any number of awkward replies from him, but they don’t come. He just smiles, his face now lit up brighter than any Christmas tree, and says. “Okay then. It’s a date. See you in ten.”

When he slips out the door, Rey finds herself smiling and processing what just happened. _A date…don’t overthink this Rey. Just go with it._

She lets herself squeal in delight and lie back on the sheets, wondering what he’s plotting behind that gorgeous smile of his. After another moment of reveling in the sudden turn of events, Rey realizes she needs to hurry and get things ready before he comes back. So, she sits up, smooths out the sheet, and starts putting things together.

And as she crawls over to the mini bar, his smile still etched perfectly in her mind, she can’t help but think that maybe the two of them are more alike than she ever could have known.


	5. Chapter 5

Despite the dingy motel room being far from luxurious, Rey managed to make their little Christmas Eve spread look like a fun, quaint picnic on the sheet-covered floor.

The bottles from the mini bar have all been arranged in a color formation in the shape of a candy cane, and the pillows and blankets have been plumped along the comforter.

Now, she’s standing in front of the finger-smudged mirror, reapplying lipstick from her purse and trying to get the hair falling from her newly touched-up bun to curl. “Come on…curl already,” she pleads as she wraps the strand around her finger. Suddenly, something clicks in the door. The sound of the doorknob turning startles her, and she curses under her breath, wishing she had more time to make herself up. _Why do I even care about looking my best? I’m just having a small dinner with my boss. It’s barely even a date._ Still, as she turns around and sees his 6’3” frame moving gracefully into the room, her heart skips and she wishes she had another outfit tucked away somewhere. Maybe a cocktail dress or something a little less cozy…

“Well, I couldn’t leave the motel,” Kylo says, his arms full of brightly colored, crinkling bags, “so the best I could do was buy up most of the bags of chips in the vending machine near the lobby. He opens his arms and lets them fall to the floor. Rey’s face brightens, her eyes widening. They’ve got sour cream and onion, salt and vinegar, bbq, Doritos (both nacho cheese and cool ranch), and even a bag of harvest cheddar Sun Chips. She’s practically drooling as she inspects each one.

While her eyes scan the twenty or so bags on the floor, Kylo frowns, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. “I’m sorry. It’s all I could do.”

Rey looks up, practically glowing, and says, “No, it’s wonderful! I love chips! Really, I just love snacks and food of every kind.” She laughs. Her eyes sparkle as she leans down, wraps her arms around all the bags, and lifts them to bring them to her little picnic waiting for them behind the bed. Kylo watches her closely, his eyes following her every movement with confused awe, unfamiliar of the sensation of such peculiar gratitude.

She drops the chips on the comforter and sorts them between the two of them. As he makes his way over to her, Rey asks if he has a preference of chips. “No…” he says, still watching her with fascinated eyes. He smiles and crouches down.

“What?” she asks, dumbfounded.

“I just…I love how happy you are. I never would have guessed that such joy could come from bags of chips.” His eyes linger on her a little more.

She can’t tell if he’s poking fun at her or is just pleasantly surprised by her humility, so she just turns away and says, “Well, I grew up quite poor. I didn’t have the luxury of getting snacks.”

“Not even at Christmas?” he asks, kneeling beside her and lending his hand at sorting the chips.

“Not even at Christmas,” she sighs. When her face falls a bit, Kylo puts his hand on hers.

“It’s okay. I think it’s…wonderful…endearing…” the last word is barely audible, as if it were an accident—a secret he didn’t mean for her to hear. “A breath of fresh air, especially compared to what I’m used to.”

She offers a soft smile and squeezes his hand, realizing that he really did think her elation at the chips was sweet (and unlike many other guys, he thought her love of junk food was cute, instead of running for the hills). She takes her hand away to pop open one of the bags. “Well,” she says, letting the puff of cheesy Dorito air fill her nostrils, “Let’s have fun with our chip spread and pretend none of those people even exist.”

“Sounds great to me,” he says, opening a bag of sour cream and onion.

“Hopefully I have enough to pay for all these drinks. $30 for these tiny things? Are they crazy?”

He smiles. “Don’t worry. I’ll take care of everything.” And with that, they clink their bottles together and start munching on their Christmas Eve potato chips. They make small talk, recalling their best Christmas memories, and some of the worst (mostly embarrassing ones. They want this to be a fun, light evening. They’d rather not dive into the shadows of their pasts tonight. At least not so easily).

“So, what made you decide to work in business?” Rey asks, finally putting down her freshly emptied tenth bag of chips. She resists the urge to burp and sets her chin daintily on her palm instead, hoping he doesn’t notice anything.

He moves his fingers together, dusting away crumbs. “Well, I was going to take over for my uncle at his business. Like I said, he’s a coach, but he isn’t just that. He’s famous and owns his own private practice coaching baseball. Mostly to kids of athletes and such. I’ve always been good at sports, too, and my parents thought it’d be nice if I took over for him, especially since I didn’t have the people skills to be in politics like my mom or the desire to get into danger for no reason like my race car-driving father.” He sighs and turns to lean his back against the foot of the bed. “He and I never got along well, but my mother urged me to take up the mantle because she thought it’d be good for me. So, I went to live with him when I was a teenager. He and I had a pretty big falling out a couple years in, but he was still going to let me take over for him. I refused and decided to work for my old boss instead.”

Rey’s brows furrow. “Your old boss?”

Something in his eyes changes, a shadow of fear flashes through them. “Yes,” he says in almost a whisper. “He always pushed me to my limits. I met him when I was in high school. I was interning with him because a big name like his would look great on my resume and college applications. He worked in business, and I just kind of did grunt work for him. He saw something in me, though, and since I didn’t really have anyone else in my life, he became a guardian figure to me.” His hands start to tremble, so he clenches his fists together, probably hoping Rey doesn’t notice. He keeps his eyes straight ahead of him. “He was a terrible man, but I owe him my success. I took over for First Order Enterprises— _his_ business. I should be grateful.”

“Well…was he a good man?”

Kylo flinches.

“So…I’m guessing that’s a _no_.”

A pained expression forms deep lines across his forehead. “He…was a monster…but…I owe it all to him. My success, that is.”

Rey reaches over and puts a hand on his. “Kylo, I’ve seen you work in your office, and before I started working, I read all about your success and all the things you’ve accomplished. All those negotiations you made that were apparently very difficult and expertly done. That was _you_. Not him. I don’t know what this old boss of yours was like or who he was, but what I do know is that you’ve earned a great deal of success all on your own. Your merit is yours and yours alone. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.” He looks at her with the same surprised expression he’s shown her multiple times over the last twelve hours. It’s as though he’s not used to such low-stress interactions with someone. Or maybe he sees something in her that he’s never seen in anyone else before.

She looks into his eyes with an intensity that could make the world stand still if she wanted it to. She takes hold of his hands and doesn’t take her eyes away from him, hoping with everything in her that he feels how true her words really are. “Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise,” she repeats, emphasizing it a little further.

Kylo looks back at her, his breath warm against her face, their knees touching. His eyes start brimming with tears, but then they fade, and after another minute or so, color rises to his face and he looks down at their hands. “Ben,” he says softly.

Rey blinks. “What?”

“My name…it’s Ben.”

It takes Rey a second to process this, but as soon as she does her face lights up with her dimpled smile. Warmth pools through her as she says it back to him. “Ben. Hmm. I like it.”

He smiles and scoots a little closer to her, and suddenly the night seems a little sweeter and a little more like Christmas.

*

They spend the next hour talking about funny work experiences and familiar moments of not fitting in, all the while taking small sips of soda that Ben bought at one of the vending machines after Rey had said, “A Pepsi would really hit the spot right now.” She was surprised at how seriously he then took the task of finding her one. When he handed it to her, she couldn’t stop smiling.

They talk and touch playfully and let the world around them melt away as an unspoken thought is shared between them: _No one has ever understood me like this before._

They laugh until their sides hurt, and for the first time in Rey’s whole life, she finally feels at ease. Completely and utterly relaxed. She’s convinced that she’s never felt this full before, like sunrise has been brimming in her body and is now spilling out her fingertips. Happiness is an intoxicating sweet she wants to savor forever.

She desperately wishes she could talk with Ben forever, but despite their lovely evening, the exhaustion of the day gets to her and she finds the urgent need to sleep.

“Ben,” she says, slumping down next to him, her head falling on his shoulder. “I’m so tired.” She hears the bass of his voice but can’t make out what he said, and one of his arms wraps around her before her eyes slump shut and she drifts to sleep.


End file.
